


inalienable champs

by stilinskisbitch



Series: texts of the trash heap [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Established Relationship, Getting Together, Group chat, M/M, Misunderstandings, Screenshots, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-22
Updated: 2015-09-22
Packaged: 2018-04-21 09:31:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4823879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilinskisbitch/pseuds/stilinskisbitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something is wrong with Kindaichi. For once, it's not Oikawa's fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	inalienable champs

 

_Kindaichi has left inalienable champs_

 

 **Matsukawa:**        3

 **Hanamaki:**          2

 **Matsukawa:**        1

 **Hanamaki:**          ..½

 **Matsukawa:**        …¼?

 **Hanamaki:**          ……

 **Matsukawa:**         now this is weird

 **Oikawa:**               well  
                           it wasn’t me?

 **Matsukawa:**         i never thought i would say this but  
                           i believe u?????

 **Hanamaki:**          this is seriously fucked up

 **Oikawa:**               Iwa-chan?? 

 **Iwaizumi:**            um

 **Matsukawa:**         ahhh there he is

 **Oikawa:**               IWA-CHAN ARE YOU ALRIGHT

 **Iwaizumi:**             i think i just  
                           went on a date with kindaichi?

 **Kunimi:**                oh my god.

 **Hanamaki:**           wtf

 **Oikawa:**                you think???? what’s that supposed to mean??????

 **Matsukawa:**          and on our left u can see the great king

 **Hanamaki:**            being terrified of a concept entirely foreign to him:

 **Matsukawa:**          the concept of thinking

 **Hanamaki:**            

 **Matsukawa:**          don’t worry cap it’s ok to be scared of new things

 **Kyoutani:**              

 **Oikawa:**                please shut up?

 **Iwaizumi:**             ok i’m like 97% sure that was a date

 **Oikawa:**                Iwa-chan you do know you have a boyfriend though 

 **Matsukawa:**          never took u for a cheater iwaizumi :/

 **Hanamaki:**           we're not angry, just disappointed :/

 **Matsukawa:**          and think of the children!

 **Hanamaki:**           oh what will we tell the children!

 **Oikawa:**                :/

 **Hanamaki:**            ..well i do understand the desire to get away from oikawa

 **Oikawa:**                excuse you!!! 

 **Matsukawa:**          but to assault the poor kindaichi!

 **Hanamaki:**            and to try and steal his innocence!

 **Matsukawa:**          how COULD U THE POOR BOY

 **Hanamaki:**            HE WAS SO YOUNG

 **Kyoutani:**

**Iwaizumi:**              I DIDN’T KNOW IT WAS A DATE OH MY GOD

 **Oikawa:**                 I knew you would never cheat on me!!!! 

 **Matsukawa:**           how the fuck

 **Hanamaki:**          does one accidentally go on a date?

 **Iwaizumi:**              well  
                            he asked me to go see a movie  
                            and i did want to see that movie  
                            and everything was normal but

 **Hanamaki:**            the movies

 **Matsukawa:**           ofc they went to the fuckin movies

 **Oikawa:**                 Iwa-chan never takes me to the movies 

 **Iwaizumi:**              bc you only ever wanna see alien movies???  
                            anyway why is going to the movies such a big deal?

 **Hanamaki:**            iwaizumi, i respect you but sometimes you’re just

 **Matsukawa:**           dense af

 **Hanamaki:**            the movies are like the storybook date

 **Iwaizumi:**              ..seriously???

 **Matsukawa:**          seriously  
                            let me guess, he paid ur ticket

 **Iwaizumi:**             i thought he was just being nice???  
                            come on you don’t just say no to free movie tickets

 **Hanamaki:**           did you by any chance share popcorn

 **Iwaizumi:**             ..it’s not my fault he had a coupon for one of those huge popcorn buckets!!!

 **Oikawa:**                omg 

 **Hanamaki:**            did he walk you home afterwards

 **Matsukawa:**          he totally did, didn’t he

 **Iwaizumi:**              …maybe?

 **Oikawa:**                Iwa-chan 

 **Hanamaki:**            i’m gonna take a wild guess and say he was overly nice to you the entire day

 **Matsukawa:**           probably paid u way 2 many compliments

 **Iwaizumi:**              …

 **Kyoutani:**                holy fuck

 **Matsukawa:**          iwaizumi-san u look so handsome today 

 **Hanamaki:**            iwaizumi-san you smell so nice 

 **Matsukawa:**          iwaizumi-san ure so strong 

 **Hanamaki:**            iwaizumi-san your ass looks amazing in those jeans 

 **Iwaizumi:**             OH MY GOD STOP HE DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY ASS

 **Matsukawa:**          ofc he didn’t

 **Hanamaki:**            he didn’t think about it once

 **Matsukawa:**          very heterosexual thoughts he had about u i bet

 **Iwaizumi:**              OK I GET IT  
                            jesus

 **Hanamaki:**            i feel like there's more though

 **Iwaizumi:**             well that was the normal part but

 **Matsukawa:**         ahhh theres more

 **Hanamaki:**           so after your perfectly normal not date

 **Matsukawa:**          what convinced u that its not as normal after all?

 **Iwaizumi:**             well as you said he basically walked me home and

 **Hanamaki:**           yes

 **Iwaizumi:**             we were saying our goodbyes but then

 **Matsukawa:**         go on

 **Iwaizumi:**             he tried to kiss me?

 **Kyoutani:**           

 **Hanamaki:**           oh my god ew

 **Matsukawa:**         why did i ask

 **Oikawa:**                IWA-CHAN 

 **Iwaizumi:**             i saiD HE TRIED  
                          WE DIDN’T KISS

 **Hanamaki:** thank god

 **Matsukawa:**          and u basically told him to fuck off?

 **Iwaizumi:**             i said i’m sorry but i’m already taken  
                           fuck i feel awful  
                           oh man  
                           he went beet red and apologized like 20 times before he ran off

 **Matsukawa:**         ew beet root

 **Hanamaki:**           healthy though

 **Matsukawa:**          u had fuckin creampuffs for breakfast

 **Hanamaki:**            your point?

 **Oikawa:**                I KNEW YOU LOVED ME  

 **Iwaizumi:**             ..don’t push it assykawa

 **Kunimi:**                iwaizumi  
                           if i wasnt so comfortable in my bed rn  
                           id literally kill u

 

_Kunimi has sent a picture_

 

  

 

 **Iwaizumi:**             shit

 **Kunimi:**                damn right

 **Iwaizumi:**             tell him i’m sorry and not angry or anything, please?  
                            i didn’t mean to hurt him either  
                           god i feel so bad

 **Kunimi:**                will do  
                           but dont think im not after ur head anymore

 **Oikawa:**                Iwa-chan!!!! guess what movie’s coming out on friday!!!

 **Iwaizumi:**             i’m not watching this alien predator thing with you

 **Oikawa:**                  
                            but

 **Iwaizumi:**              no

 **Hanamaki:**            still can’t believe kindaichi didn’t notice

 **Matsukawa:**          with all the old married couple thing theyve got goin

 **Iwaizumi:**              ????

 **Hanamaki:**             ah kindaichi’s too pure

 **Oikawa:**                 aren’t we too young to be married, and old???

 **Kunimi:**                 oikawa i think u can add kindaichi again

 **Oikawa:**                 okidoki   
                             still not too happy he made a move on Iwachan tho :/

 

_Oikawa has added Kindaichi to inalienable champs_

 

 **Kindaichi:**              ..hi

 **Iwaizumi:**              glad you’re back. sorry again about what happened..

 **Kindaichi:**              i'm also sorry for  
                             yeah

 **Kunimi:**                  ok SO  
                             to avoid stuff like that in the future  
                             anyone else we should kno about?  
                             apart from iwaizumi and oikawa and hanamaki and matsukawa?

 **Hanamaki:**             what

 **Iwaizumi:**               i think that’s it

 **Matsukawa:**            ??????

 **Yahaba:**                 yes, that’s it.

 **Matsukawa:**           but were not dating????????

 **Oikawa:**                 of course you are?

 **Hanamaki:**             um, no?

 **Iwaizumi:**              come on stop messing with the first years

 **Matsukawa:**           ????? were not dating

 **Iwaizumi:**              ..seriously?

 **Matsukawa:**           seriously

 **Iwaizumi:**              but  
                            ok nvm  
                            trashykawa, you free sat night?

 **Matsukawa:**           why on earth would i date makki

 **Oikawa:**                 the movies?  

 **Matsukawa:**           that’s just  
                             no

 **Iwaizumi:**               i’ll pick you up at 8?

 **Hanamaki:**             ..so you wouldn’t date me?

 **Oikawa:**                 

 **Matsukawa:**            ure like  
                             not cute at all

 **Hanamaki:**              fuck you i’m plenty cute  
                             so you wouldn’t date me?

 **Matsukawa:**            …no?

 **Hanamaki:**              like  
                              never?

 **Matsukawa:**            um

 **Hanamaki:**              never ever?

 **Matsukawa:**           ……unless u wanted to?

 **Kindaichi:**               oh my god

 **Iwaizumi:**                and you call me dense?

 

* * *

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i honestly feel like the whole team lacks proper communication skills. or it's simply that none of them think anything through. maybe both.  
> also: inalienable champs. inALIENable. get it? (oikawa would totally make this the name of the group chat and act like it isn't a pun. he would feel so clever because it's so subtle and of course the team would never notice. never.)
> 
> if you wanna talk about this fanfic or haikyuu!! in general, exchange headcanons or simply feel like talking,  
> come chat on tumblr! :) (stopanime2k16.tumblr.com)
> 
> thank you for reading this, i hope you had as much fun with this thing as i had creating, feedback would be highly appreciated! <3


End file.
